Reminiscence
Saturday, January 19, 2013
My new year resolutions for 2013:
Be happy.
Laugh more.
Slim down (lmao).
A better GPA.
A better life.
A better me.
Be happy.
Laugh more.
Slim down (lmao).
A better GPA.
A better life.
A better me.
♥ 8:50 PM
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Many things i didn't say and express myself because some feelings can never be expressed through words. I don't know why but this feeling is overwhelmed with fear and sadness, i can't take it anymore.
It's been atleast four months since it's over. It wasn't easy for me but i've been taking it too easy and thinking that i'm strong enough to handle it. Maybe i'm just acting tough. Not trying to show people that i'm strong enough or trying to tell the others that it doesn't matter anymore.
The truth is, i'm still deeply affected by it, by him. It wasn't a joke nor something to be taken lightly. All along, every relationship i had, i take it seriously. I am someone, whom will give in my all and do anything impossible for that someone. For that someone i love. It's ok, i know that love doesn't expect any return. But bullshit, i expect a little because of what you've said and done that gives me the slighest hope that things will work it out. It's all false hope or but of your plan, to make me fall into that trap.
Even till now, even the slightest thing about you would remind me of everything and i have that fucking hatred towards you. I don't love you anymore, not even a pea of love or like. A bottle of hatred. A knot that i'll never be able to untie.
Sometimes, people around me mentioned about you accidentally but still i can't helped but to think of it. Am i too oversensitive? But, does anybody know how hurtful it is? And does anybody know that incident really caused a whole lot of pain in me? Does anybody know i haven't get through with it? My feelings for you are no longer there but you're still living in this damn world and you're someone i couldn't forget. Some people you could never forget. Because of what that someone have given or done to you that makes you remember. And because of what you've remembered, the pain is still vividly living inside you and your mind.
I swear i never wanna cry again or breakdown again and again upon hearing your name but fuck it always happens. It's like a nightmare haunting me once in a month and it's fucking toturing. How am i supposed to get over with this? I can't untie the knot in me. I can't do anything to get rid of the fear i had in me. I can't fucking forget everything.
Maybe one day i'll be good enough. One day things will be better. Better in time to come. I hope.
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It's been atleast four months since it's over. It wasn't easy for me but i've been taking it too easy and thinking that i'm strong enough to handle it. Maybe i'm just acting tough. Not trying to show people that i'm strong enough or trying to tell the others that it doesn't matter anymore.
The truth is, i'm still deeply affected by it, by him. It wasn't a joke nor something to be taken lightly. All along, every relationship i had, i take it seriously. I am someone, whom will give in my all and do anything impossible for that someone. For that someone i love. It's ok, i know that love doesn't expect any return. But bullshit, i expect a little because of what you've said and done that gives me the slighest hope that things will work it out. It's all false hope or but of your plan, to make me fall into that trap.
Even till now, even the slightest thing about you would remind me of everything and i have that fucking hatred towards you. I don't love you anymore, not even a pea of love or like. A bottle of hatred. A knot that i'll never be able to untie.
Sometimes, people around me mentioned about you accidentally but still i can't helped but to think of it. Am i too oversensitive? But, does anybody know how hurtful it is? And does anybody know that incident really caused a whole lot of pain in me? Does anybody know i haven't get through with it? My feelings for you are no longer there but you're still living in this damn world and you're someone i couldn't forget. Some people you could never forget. Because of what that someone have given or done to you that makes you remember. And because of what you've remembered, the pain is still vividly living inside you and your mind.
I swear i never wanna cry again or breakdown again and again upon hearing your name but fuck it always happens. It's like a nightmare haunting me once in a month and it's fucking toturing. How am i supposed to get over with this? I can't untie the knot in me. I can't do anything to get rid of the fear i had in me. I can't fucking forget everything.
Maybe one day i'll be good enough. One day things will be better. Better in time to come. I hope.
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♥ 7:13 PM
Monday, October 1, 2012
Getting over someone is never easy. I doubt i could do so. Maybe i could but there's something that kept me holding on. I don't know what or why. I just couldn't get you out of my mind. I've tried, really tried. I tried so hard. It hit me so hard. It's impossible for me to look at you again or be friends with you again. My feelings for you still exists. I thought i'm over you. Yes, i thought. But what i thought isn't what i really thought. I don't get it, why would i feel this way? Maybe i've been thinking too much. It should be an end to it already.
♥ 1:20 AM
Saturday, September 29, 2012
I get this feeling tingling in my heart. I don't know what's all these feelings about. I need to make myself feel better because this is killing me slowly.
♥ 12:36 AM
Friday, August 10, 2012
I was given the answer i've wanted to know all this while. I always thought it would turn out to be smth good but, it's always bad. I thought i could take it, be it the hard way yet i couldn't. I didn't know it would be this hard and this painful. I'm really heart-broken. No pain would hurt this much. Because of this, i couldn't love anyone else this hard anymore.
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
♥ 12:25 AM
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
The first thing i did when i woke up is trying to smile. But i couldn't do it. How am i supposed to get through today?
I know you're feeling guility or bad. But you don't have to feel this way. If you happen to see this. Just. Burn away the letter since it's over.
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I know you're feeling guility or bad. But you don't have to feel this way. If you happen to see this. Just. Burn away the letter since it's over.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
♥ 10:28 AM
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
This stab really killed me
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
♥ 10:11 PM
Saturday, August 4, 2012
“If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. So don’t bother reserving a place in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.”
Sometimes i thought it would make me feel better if i could just pour out my woes and expalin how i'm really feeling in me. But somehow, all the words got choked up and the feelings just went numb. Will things get any better or any worse than this?
When i told you how i really feel, does it matter to you anyway? I really don't know what to say or what to do. And i couldn't just leave things lying around but, what else can i do?
Sleep.
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♥ 2:36 AM
Friday, August 3, 2012
It's been awhile since i'd last blogged and i'm so busy with school. Exams are coming soon in another 2 weeks or so, oh god. Feel so stressed and tired of school but well, life still goes on.
Have been feeling tired and rather upset lately. So many things happening and it's too much for me to handle. I've always been spilling out all my feelings and thoughts here but it's no longer needed to...
♥ 5:39 PM
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Here am i sitting downstairs his house and he's drunk. Really don't know what to say seeing him so dead drunk and tired i feel so...worried and heartaches.
This is the first and the last time i'm doing so much for him. And i'm rly tired.
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♥ 4:44 AM
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I wished, you would know how i'm feeling rn.
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♥ 1:41 AM
Saturday, July 21, 2012
痛到哭不出来
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♥ 3:32 AM
Thursday, July 19, 2012
It's been so long. So so long. And...
Shaggggg-est face ever
School's so tiring and i'm in need of a break from everything. So tired.
And thank you, thanks for adding more troubles to my life and i seriously hate you even more rn. All those disappointments, lies and your jokes. I cannot take it anymore.
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Shaggggg-est face ever
School's so tiring and i'm in need of a break from everything. So tired.
And thank you, thanks for adding more troubles to my life and i seriously hate you even more rn. All those disappointments, lies and your jokes. I cannot take it anymore.
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♥ 11:57 PM
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Just started my two weeks hols on friday. Finally, time to take a break from everything. Life sucks.
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♥ 2:09 AM
Sunday, May 20, 2012
ITE GRADUATION <3
More photos on my facebook.
Love & misses. Xoxo
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More photos on my facebook.
Love & misses. Xoxo
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♥ 10:59 PM
Monday, May 14, 2012
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♥ 11:50 PM
Love.
"There will come a time in your life when you become absolutely infatuated with a single soul. For this person, you’d do anything for and not think twice about it, but when asked why, you have no answer. You’ll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do, but you’ll never find out. And no matter how badly it hurts or how badly you hate it, you’ll love this person for the rest of your life without regret."
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"There will come a time in your life when you become absolutely infatuated with a single soul. For this person, you’d do anything for and not think twice about it, but when asked why, you have no answer. You’ll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do, but you’ll never find out. And no matter how badly it hurts or how badly you hate it, you’ll love this person for the rest of your life without regret."
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♥ 12:33 AM
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Girls please read:
1. A man won’t let go if he really loves you.
- Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.
2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship.
- There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.
3. Do not get hang up on your past.
- Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn’t guard him enough or you didn’t make him happy enough.
4. Do not look into images.
- How many times have you met a girl who didn’t have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your “supposedly” perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.
5. Always have your own set of rules.
- Set your limits on how far you’d go for a guy. It’s perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it’s worth it. And it’s worth it if the guy is treating you right.
6. Do not be scared to lose him.
- Don’t be scared that he’ll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.
7. Avoid calling your guy.
- It’’ a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it’s the guy who’s calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it’s a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).
8. There is a guy who will value you.
- There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don’t lose hope. Don’t settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can.
Also, do not believe him when he says it’s just the way he really is. He’s not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.
9. Always be the only one, no matter what.
- Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can’t leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.
10. He must respect you.
- No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.
11. If he fooled you, end it.
- Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.
12. Never start a relationship the wrong way.
- Do not steal another girl’s man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.
13. Do not force yourself into a relationship.
- Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn’t come yet. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.
14. Do not settle.
- If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.
15. A relationship has to have love.
- Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.
16. Don’t be afraid to be single.
- It’s fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.
17. Be a good girl.
- Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years). If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.
18. Love without limits.
- Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn’t give your all, you get hurt for nothing.
19. You will get over him.
- Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.
20. Be the one.
- Act like you are the one. Don’t be a nagger. Don’t hinder his gimmicks. Don’t give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don’t be easy. Don’t be like every other girl he had in his life.
A man won’t let go, if he really loves you.
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1. A man won’t let go if he really loves you.
- Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.
2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship.
- There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.
3. Do not get hang up on your past.
- Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn’t guard him enough or you didn’t make him happy enough.
4. Do not look into images.
- How many times have you met a girl who didn’t have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your “supposedly” perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.
5. Always have your own set of rules.
- Set your limits on how far you’d go for a guy. It’s perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it’s worth it. And it’s worth it if the guy is treating you right.
6. Do not be scared to lose him.
- Don’t be scared that he’ll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.
7. Avoid calling your guy.
- It’’ a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it’s the guy who’s calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it’s a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).
8. There is a guy who will value you.
- There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don’t lose hope. Don’t settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can.
Also, do not believe him when he says it’s just the way he really is. He’s not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.
9. Always be the only one, no matter what.
- Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can’t leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.
10. He must respect you.
- No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.
11. If he fooled you, end it.
- Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.
12. Never start a relationship the wrong way.
- Do not steal another girl’s man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.
13. Do not force yourself into a relationship.
- Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn’t come yet. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.
14. Do not settle.
- If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.
15. A relationship has to have love.
- Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.
16. Don’t be afraid to be single.
- It’s fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.
17. Be a good girl.
- Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years). If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.
18. Love without limits.
- Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn’t give your all, you get hurt for nothing.
19. You will get over him.
- Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.
20. Be the one.
- Act like you are the one. Don’t be a nagger. Don’t hinder his gimmicks. Don’t give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don’t be easy. Don’t be like every other girl he had in his life.
A man won’t let go, if he really loves you.
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♥ 2:25 AM
Thursday, May 10, 2012
10 May
A favourite word
Craving for a hug rn. xx
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A favourite word
Craving for a hug rn. xx
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♥ 11:37 PM
Monday, May 7, 2012
7May
Someone that inspires you
God.
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Someone that inspires you
God.
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♥ 8:01 PM
Sunday, May 6, 2012
I think i'm too tired and i got all the dates messed up. Omg, sorry for that hehe.
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
♥ 4:28 PM
5May
Me
Me and my fav barbie tee. Xx
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Me
Me and my fav barbie tee. Xx
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♥ 1:15 PM
Saturday, May 5, 2012
4May
Bird
Fuck, cnt get thru this level.
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Bird
Fuck, cnt get thru this level.
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♥ 11:40 PM
Friday, May 4, 2012
4May
Fun!
People whom i've missed dearly. All those fun and laughter, irreplacable! :')
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Fun!
People whom i've missed dearly. All those fun and laughter, irreplacable! :')
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♥ 10:19 PM
Thursday, May 3, 2012
3 May
Something i wore today
#Longsleeved checkered blouse #Denim shorts #Studded wristlet #Red birkenstock #Bagpack #School
Xoxo
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Something i wore today
#Longsleeved checkered blouse #Denim shorts #Studded wristlet #Red birkenstock #Bagpack #School
Xoxo
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♥ 10:37 PM
2May
Skyline
At Genting, March. Mizz the weather there! Xx
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Skyline
At Genting, March. Mizz the weather there! Xx
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♥ 9:25 AM
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
May may may may
Please be good.
Say peace!
Xx.
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Please be good.
Say peace!
Xx.
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♥ 6:07 PM